My Sweet Buffoon

I had ended a four year relationship with the headmaster of buffoons followed by a couple of idiotic stints that some would call "dates" and soon after, met my husband.

I met him online, yes, it's true, but not on a dating website, more like a friend search and I was, indeed, in search of a new friend. It was a Saturday night, and, as I saw it, was blown off by my friends who were all at a party in which I was not invited due to the fact that my ex-buffoon was attending and would be there with his new fool. I was not asked to be there so that no one would be uncomfortable, rude I thought, but again I was super sensitive and the story plays differently in my head. I decided to find a new friend.

Online was a good choice for me at the time. First of all, I did not want to go out, get dressed or drive due to the fact that I planned on drinking too much, which is also frugal because drinking at home was much cheaper than going out. So on with my search. My criteria was someone also seeking friendship, no long term-love thier life freaks, must have a normal picture, no shirtless or fake modeling pictures. They must live in the city (to give me a reason to go to the city) and be male, ah yes, I was at my wits end with females after being accused of trying to steal a fiancee, which I would never do, to anyone. The search was on, glass of wine in hand and a bad dial-up connection to the internet. I was on my way to finding my new best friend.

Only one hundred and fifty people matched my criteria, at this point I had to narrow my search, throwing the " you can't tell a book by it's cover" part of myself aside, I decided to go through the pictures to find, what I thought would be the most normal looking fella of the bunch. With the shirtless models weeded out, I found my new friend. Now remember, I had a poor dial up connection and being kicked offline about thirty times, after which each time, I had to re-search for my new friend. By the time I actually got to his page I was fairly snoockered and more convinced we would become very good friends. as far as I could comprehend, he was normal and I sent a lovely message and went to bed with visions of myself and my new best friend doing best friend things.

I woke the next morning eager to see if my new friend had seen my message and, even more so, had replied. Before I went to the kitchen to retrieve asprin and much needed water for my dehydrated body, I checked the computer. I had one message in my inbox.

One thing I had mentioned to him was that I went to high school in his hometown. Only for a second had it occured to me that we may have gone to school together but there were two high schools in that town and he was a year older than me. If my brain had been a bit clearer I would have realized that everyone in my class was a year older than me and there was, in fact, a very good chance went to school together. I checked my message, now with some dread and remorse.

It was a nice message, and we did go to the same high school, all four years, the same graduating class. I ran to the basement to drag out my yearbooks. We, obviously, did not know each other back then but I did remember him from the old picture and I remembered that I had thought he was cute in back then and still thought he was cute back then, even though he was sporting quite a mullet.

I was a very insecure teen and was becoming one again. He was a bit popular in high school, I was not, I was a self proclaimed dork. My teen insecurities were growing as I continued to read his message which ended with his phone number. There was no way I was going to call, was this a prank? Now my insecurities were getting the best of me in my teen state of mind and I was convinced I would walk outside my house to find it covered in toilet paper. I decide to reply and give him my phone number and see what happened.

Later, the same day, he did call and left a very silly message and it sounded like he too was feeling a bit insecure. I felt good enough to return the call and we talked for a long time and enjoyed some "what were you thinking" moments in regards to our yearbook pictures.

It seems that we both, at the time, were suffering from less than stellar social lives which in the coming weeks was the reason we talked on the phone as much as we did and became very close, very quickly. I had, in fact, found my new best friend.